just prayed and ate my dinner, freaking 2am. and i havent bathed. from 6am - 2am lol. freaking stink like some fuck. and so bloated cos i was so hungry that i chionged the food.


chinese today was freaking hard. hardest i did this year. the answers to the mcq all look like the correct answer to me. zzz


tired. freaking tired. luckily tmr no sch, but there's still pw meeting zzz

Happy Belated Birthday Ben!




yesterday went back for chinese lesson and OP dry run 3, in between celebrated birthday for lao shi and benjamin, haha. i screwed up OP, cos i cant memorise my script, so i screwed and screwed until the screw broke. -_- while waiting, everyone were very bored, bored until even qianyi went crazy





***


tomorrow's chinese a level! good luck to myself and everyone!


if i pass, NO MORE CHINESE ^^

i really hope everything turns out well for pw as well as for chinese. i really dont wanna take CLB. i hope for everyone's pw to turn out fine. because its around this time you have really big disputes between the group i think. i hope for everyone's chinese to pass too.


and i also hope for hanif and nat. they are only one subject away to 100% promoting. i really hope brother paul can allow them to promote. i'll miss them if they dont. really. brother paul, wake up your idea. i hope for the class to promote altogether.


i really hate people saying "no hope la". its really insulting dont you think? i mean, everyone can forgo everything in the world except for hope. no hope = die. once there's hope, there's everything.


praying = hope, wishing = hope. a lot of things that people do links to hope. (:


hope for the future, hope for the world. right now, hope for everything to turn out alright.


***


I CANT GET MY OP SCRIPT INTO MY HEAD. sucks man.


the song vid that caroline just posted on her blog is so meaningful~ touching enough to make anyone who's been in a relationship cry.


these few days im in a final fantasy mania. i just wanna play ff7 again.


i need to get a new blogskin asap, this blogskin just prevents my feelings from being SHOWN TO THE WORLD. black and all -_-


NgU, never give up, hope's always there for you.

dude.

eh, hello people. im not for suanning -_-


OCS trip on wednesday, damn fun haha, reached school late, but i dont mind cos i slept my ass off in the bus xDD didnt take pictures of the REAL guns i held cos i was too busying admiring and trying them out ahah










screw OP dry run 2 on thursday, i suddenly felt so nervous + tired that i stuttered here and there, and kept looking at my script, didnt intend to read that much from script in the first place but just panicked. >< i promise to improvee


today was END OF YEAR CEREMONY. wasnt as touching as sec 4 grad, cos we arent even graduating, hahaha. theres still cca and school and all. so it STILL doesnt feel like end of the school year. wrote down reflections on a piece of paper, sealed it and dunno where they put it. under some candle. brother paul suanned so many people today, mass suaning. haha.



MARILENE IS A GHOST





went NYDC with almost the whole class after the ceremony and PW OP dry runs, the food there is not considerably nice to me >< so maybe when i go there i'll just go for the desserts haha. i need to cope the nydc pictures from someone!


chinese a levels is coming, i may just fail it and die. zz. i must improve my OP until its IMBA. yeah man, i will and i must. muaha, owning in dota is so much fun. not fun when playing with those pessimists, "gg", "lose", "die". heck them. -_- siyuan's insaniquarium is so fun lol. i want to play it too xD


thanks for the memories.

im freaking TIRED. tired tired tired (repeat 10x)


OP was well done, i thought our group was good. but ms tan say i should be the host like no man, i dont wanna be host. zz, stressful.


after OP dry run was the excursion to SAFTI. fun luh, army is fun de wadz, i got psycho-ed by my uncle and father for very long already haha. shall put pictures tmr, im freaking tired. on the way back on the bus, i slept, when i woke up it was dark out and we still havent reached school cos we took the LAST SCHOOL BUS. stupid arrangement. bus 9, deng jiu jiu indeeed.


perv.

today's result day was scary. lol.


my aim was to get promoted. and i hope i did?


my results suck compared to most of the class, but i know deep down inside me that i did not really put in a lot of effort anyway. expected.


For Promos:

H1
Chinese: S
Physics: E
GP : E

H2
Maths : D
Chem : U
Econs : E


Overall:

H1
Chinese: C
Physics: E
GP : E

H2
Maths : if rounded up, should be E
Chem : either S or U, my overall is 39.2, so if they round up it would be S, if not, U lol
Econs : E


CEEEEU, C EEEEU NEXT YEAR!


-_-


***


after school chionged to huixin's house to do pw! omg i swear her house is an inferno or something, hahaha. so hot. but when we did the videos and all damn interesting and funny xDD practised only a bit of the script. chongmei has officially become the host cos i gave up after i realised chongmei shows almost no signs of stage fright, im like so pathetic up on stage, although i have a lot of ideas in my mind, cant present them if i cant do shit. in the end jq and i took pictures for a vid on time bank. zy is the director haha. chongmei is superior and huixin's acting is hahaha, BIMBOTIC LOL. hope our op turns out well cos our idea totally changed.








huixin's picture is once in a life time den can take one siah. and you dont see me hugging so many soft toys everyday, hahaha


xDD

im suddenly freaking addicted to instrumental music. not that now then im addicted. i was always appreciative of it, slow or fast, but could hardly talk about it or share it with someone. but suddenly hanif introduced to me some Pokemon Medley a guy on youtube played, and WHAO. back to instrumental being IN for me again. and of course if u speak of instrumental you'll think of carl, haha, yepp, damn nice to talk to him about music. i went to listen to other videos of that guy at youtube, his username and i think his real name is KyleLandry. darn cool guy i tell ya, im in love


i mean, i had so many chances to become a musician, but i just gave them all up. so now im jealous of all those who can play so well. haha. o wellz, i want a piano :P

today's mock exam was a bore, for compo i just tried my best to write WITHOUT wrong words so its a bit short plus less content, i always get mixed up with similar words and found out the hard way in promos.


had pw, nothing much, changed the slides here and there, ms tan commented, changed even more, and tmr we have to film the intro, the conclusion and maybe the skit. must remember to bring my doggie. =P


hope it will be a success yeah. today's an emo day too. not for me though, edmund and i had fun dancing and singing after pw. but everyone's emo about tmr: results day. yeah im quite anxious about it too. -_-


wonderful sounds of the piano

****ed up. every weekend i must fall sick. wats this man. z


friday went to play table tennis a while with the eds, azman debbie and hanif, den went home and slept till 8 plus, totally sick like crap.


saturday still sick like crap so didnt go tuition. zh came my house to swim use gym and zao.


today feeling so much better. pw meeting was damn funny, thought of so many funny ideas hahaha. zy jq and i went to da bao macs, den continued with the OP. didnt finish the whole script but the overall idea is there. the introduction will be LOL. get ready for a big laugh. hahahahhaa


feeling so inferior siah. i go to JYMS's blogs, read abt their days, and i didnt know any of their problems or anything, didnt even know that they were feeling that way. i go to HADE's blogs, read about their outings and fun things they do together, compare them to myself? play com at home, go out a while come back, do work, etc. boring life? duh. a bit sad. people have their lives, their dreams. i just cant seem to get mine.


not only my classmates. even my friends in polys and my primary school friends. they are having so much fun, so much laughter, so much joy. i gave up so many outings with them because of me getting sick or going out with my classmates. i missed joshua's and jasper's birthday recently, bball outings with them they had to postpone just for me, but when its their big day, i just had to miss it. jieying's birthday too, because of promos, i had to miss it too. close friends they are, they say they dont mind, but deep inside me i feel that im letting them down. its not that i dont like my class or anything, but im seriously starting to miss primary and secondary school. i wanna hit the rewind button, if there is one. im making so much effort right now, but i realise(or think) that its something like a one-sided effort. after that incident with zy, i feel im so lonely in class. he was one of the few i could pour my heart out to. and he was also the one who updated me on the happenings in class, knowing the blur attitude that i have. when i asked anyone else they would say, "cannot tell", "u dunno one", "nothing nothing". etc. i treasured the friendship i had with him but i think i did something wrong or went too far with something? assumptions on my part? i hope so. i love t31. i love my pw group. i love my friends.


maybe [see no evil, hear no evil] is the solution?


falling sick is becoming my forte, just fuck myself.


and no, i dont hide my feelings in school. im truly happy in class, when i see my friends and be with them. im happy, and thats all im content with.


tuesday is getting nearer, good, i just wanna get my fate over and done with. anticipation is not my best friend.


i need a, listening ear? maybe. or maybe i should just get sit back and live my life until its time. when im 50, i'll look toward heaven and say "thank god, its close". 60, "near, near". 70, "maybe its tomorrow".


when you only got a 100 years to live..

SWIMMING AT EDOUARD'S HOUSE TODAY WAS -pause- aweesomeee.


ahahaha, his house is just too awesome to discribe. 20th story woo! after swimming i finally realised what they mean by "laughter therapy in water". LOL.


tmr and sunday must chiong pw OP slides, cos ms tan wants to see them by monday -_- shit luh. damn sian, spoilt a lot of my plans though. wanted some sleepovers and some bball.


tmr zh say wanna come my house swim, ahaha. swimming is like the in thing now? ryan and ed are bullets in water man, jq is big size but surprisingly fast, although he swims sideways, and im just slow -.- haha

yesterday, there was a freaking mad man in the bus on my way to school. and suayly, he was sitting right beside me -.-


i was as usual, listening to my music and half dozing off on the bus. i was sitting in the back row of the tibs bus, and beside me was this weird man, he kept pushing against me. and yes, he's the mad man. halfway through the journey, for no reason at all, he suddenly shouted at the top of his voice "GO TO HELL!!!" towards the front of the bus. i was fucking half dead, i got scared like some fuck, i was sitting beside him, the bus was quiet and all, and then "GO TO HELL!" -_- and for the next few mins, he sat there looking out the window fuming. 10mins later. "GO TO HELL!!!!" i fucking jumped AGAIN. nb. but this time he smiled after he screamed. and for the remaining part of the journey, he kept laughing to himself. LOUDLY. not that type of giggle giggle, he's laughing like some idiot. fucker, want to fucking slap him and say, "GO FUCKING DIE U MOTHER FUCKER!" but i scared he got some knife or what inside his bag and den he kill me, not worth it, hahaha.


celebrated the promo's period birthday people, haha couldnt celebrate during promos so celebrate all at once now. javis ryan edmund and debra.









the guys went swimming at gensen's place, but couldnt go since i had to pray later on at night. went to meet zh at shaw house cos i wanted to buy the hoodie that i saw and liked. this is the very first time im in love with a clothing. lol. i've wanted a hoodie for very long but all so ex and the designs not very nice, the one i want is at 50 bucks and the design damn cool ahah. after getting it, we went to eat subway. zh was still hungry so he bought ljs and we shared. walked him to mrt and den went home. luckily no more mad man on the bus zzz






today's a boring day. no homework today. and today ended at 1. next tuesday gonna get back all our results already. i hope i promote. but even if i dont i wont be so disappointed either... i think?


i HATE people saying "tsk.", there are exceptions though. like u walk pass a person and accidentally bump into him and he shows u a fucking bird face and says "tsk." want to slap him? yes i do. i dont mind people saying tsk for fun or when u smile and say tsk or u crack a joke with some tsks. that bird face with the tsk just makes you even more fucking irritated with that person. esp when those old aunties do that. nb. furthermore, what if TEACHERS whom we respect so much do that. disappointing, and thats just what i saw/heard today when edouard accidentally blocked a teacher's way in the canteen, "tsk." and the bird face was all i saw and heard. cb, teacher big ah, being a teacher gives u the right to look down on your students? fuck you/off.


in the end, it doesnt even matter.

wtheck mannn.


dan keep talking to me about shopping until... i suddenly feel that shopping is DAMNN FUN LOL. girls, i need u all to teach me more xD

today i UNINTENTIONALLY pon-ed school!


woke up at 7.15am, freak, im late. so frantic luh, had no money to take taxi to school, had no money to get a mc, and my uncle is like so reluctant to lend me his 20 bucks so i just skipped asking him. and i was desperately trying to think of ways to get to school ON TIME. cos one more time i have to do detention. at first i thought, "aiya just go school late lor, just do detention." but i rmb-ed, promos over, wat am i gonna do in detention when no electronic devices are allowed in? study? omg lol, no way, for me at least.


so i called zhihui for some hope and he answered! LOL. he was on the way to amk to train his bball and agreed to lend me money to get an mc from amk polyclinic. ahahaha. so i met him at amk, played bball a bit, went to polyclinic to get mc, den met dan. sorry for making u all wait yeah, pspspsps. yepp, den impromtu decision to go to town to shop, lol? we called xy along. went to zh house to wait for him to take money and bathe first, cos my whole day expenses he pay for me liao, haha. his com is BLOODY BIG. the length is twice of mine, and the width is X1.5 of my length. dots luh. tried a dota game and omfg, rocks. but was late to meet dan lol sorrrrry.


at first was quite sian about shopping, i dont really shop yeah. haha. went to cotton on, looked around, nothing much. zao-ed to wheelocks to eat sakae, hahaha, rocks, but theres this stupid trainee manager, dots luh, keep clearing our plates, den when the rice dropped on the table and we put the rice on a plate, and gave it to her, she bloody told us "this is not allowed!" WTH?! fuck off please. went to espirit at shaw house, and suddenly i was all enthu, hahaha. trying on shirts and all. saw a long sleeve shirt i really wanted and a billabong hood at 50% discount, omfg. damnn nice. no money la, but i hope can get it asap lol.


walked around more and went home after that. now gonna finish I&R i was supposed to do yesterday and pass up today, lol.


how come everybody's blogs so saddening today? did something happen in school?


btw even until now when i think of pw im sian already. the thought of working together with someone you're not even talking to. zz. i wanna try to patch up but i still feel im being maligned. i feel its so unfair. i dont wanna argue, i can find so many loopholes in his accusations. a war of words is not very nice. it will effect many people around us. peace for now i guess. peace.


quite irritating yeah? a blog = a online journal. and journal = diary. and in a diary, you're supposed to be able to write all your feelings down with no regrets or remorse whatsoever. but you cant do that in a blog. sobs. i try to like type out 95% of what i feel already. (: effort, effort.


this is the way that we are, im not pretending
no hope no love no glory, no happy ending.

dreamt stupid things again, primary school hall with jc classmates and in sec sch PE attire having pe lessons lol. also dreamt i won a star award(?!?!) haha, random. tmr start school le, so NOT looking forward to pw. zz.


watching superband now. damn niceee


如果能有一天, 在一次重返光荣
记得找我，我的好朋友

havent had much fun as i had hahaha. its like, promos period, everyday at home, play com study watch tv eat sleep shit etc.


slept at 5am yesterday, and woke up at 8am yesterday, hahaha. cos zh had to wake me up cos he wanted to come my house first. he bought macs! haha first time i tried the macdriddles or something like that, sweet and salty, baaaad combiii siah.


den while i ate he played dota and while he ate i played dota, den we play ps1! haha how long since i touched my ps1 seriously, ppl now playing ps3 already la. but brings back memories, hahaha. zh and i acting all retarded the whole day singing yeah wo shi superman! from lan qiu huo. xD den we took a cab down to amk hub, met dan jf xy and gina for lunch at mos, loooool.bully zh until he bo way gong haha. anyway, gina went off first cos she was going to town and dan and zh wanted to follow me for bball at cscc but when we reached there dan saw wy and ivan and all, and got intimidated, and went off with jf and xy haha. zh stayed to play. wy ivan jasper joshua and jeremy were there, lol wheres the usual joel? xD but the rare jeremy appeared! haha


havent touched a bball since training stopped luh. freaking totally lost touch. played a few starter matches and all the time i missed passes, misses shots even though i was right under the basket -_- i thought gg siah, all goneeeeee. but played halfway, i injured my right hand last finger when i tried to double team wy with joshua, hahaha. o wellz, i thought "fucking shit la, play bball so lan liao still have to injure my finger", wy lent me his tape, he said can stop the bloodflow to the finger to stabilise the hand, cos the last finger, when injured, can immobolise your whole hand, and you cant play bball, its not that seriously if you injure your thumb or middle finger than your pinkie. i rested for a while with his tape, and then it felt numb. and when i played 3v3 with wy and jeremy on my team, i was omg so much better! LOL. i play better with injuries? yeah, haha.


they intend to go pool, and they asked me along, so yeah, i went home to buy dinner for my grandma and i first. ate my dinner and reached cine at abt 8 plus. only jasper and ivan went though, the rest lazy, haha. met joshua ng! omg tanned like shit la you. played pool for 2 plus hours till 11 plus. PLAYING POOL TOO MUCH MAKES YOU SENHH(the feeling you get when you drink too much or play com too much, like dizzy like that). cos we only had 3 people and we got to play a lot of times. like lol. walked around orchard with jasper before going home.


slept at 5 plus? again. shit siah my body clock is screweddddd.


today i woke up at 5PM! LOL. i woke up that time i cant believe the time also, like quite late ah. -.- i think cos i had a super long dream. darn weird. the first part i forgot what was it already, i only knew it was super exciting. but the second part was O.o i was with my jc classmates, in my sec sch classroom, having lessons with my primary sch teachers. haha? this is random but i dreamt i have 2 new computer games, one is journey to the west and the other one was a remake of FF7. haha, and qianyi didnt let me use her laptop. and i patched up with zy, and ryan suddenly dun like me. loool. gensen was sleeping on the table as usual. and ed and carl were using the school com. benjamin was playing yoyo. and the girls were as usual, MIA. cept for qianyi at the laptop. i know this is freaking random but ITS MY DREAM.


dreamer for life indeed.


woke up, saw my "lunch" on the table. and saw ants around it, i thought my lunch was gone lol. but i saw the ants only lingered around the packet of food, the plastic bag and the packet, not going inside, the most daring ant only reached BESIDE the food. LOL. so i just wiped away the ants, and just ate my lunch.


freaking late la, i think im gonna sleep late again, cant help it if you wake up at 5pm can you? hah


not going tuition today, too lazy already, and i wanna spend my weekend at home, maybe. not forgeting I&R though. lol, maybe try to do it later so that can slack tmr (:


dark skies across the oceans.

my nose only gets worse at night i think lol
and its freaking irritating


yesterday was the freaking end of promos man! but, nb, the last exam was damn anti-climax, chemistry was literally ggfied. phail. yepp zz


but though, just tried to lift my own spirits up haha. went to fish and co. @ the glass house, zy ryan clement gensen ed ben jq siyuan qianyi marilene debra aud huixin jiaxin capri and i, that place is like almost the trend for a lot of people nowadays luh lol. it was debra's birthday haha, and ryan's belated, shared and bought a cake for him and everyone gave debra a surprise. xD went to watch EAGLE EYE after that, didnt think much of it at first, thought it was just some other ordinary movie but omg, it ROCKS. something like WANTED. but with more storyline but less action too. but still its amazing haha. loved it.


zao-ed with edouard at abt 6 plus cos we wanted to go home. went to parkway to collect the bracelet my mum bought for me, cool man, bracelet, next time shall wear haha. didnt sleep for 20 hours sia. omg man, 20 hours, shack ah.


no more exams for the year! regardless of whether i promote or not, i will now keep looking forward to chalet (:








heal the world.

whats the best way to start off post-exam period? a great bad sore throat. great. how great. damn sian now, will not be going out or doing what so ever, just staying at home tmr enjoying the feeling of having no more exams for the year (:


shall blog abt everything tmr, too sick now. z

what i thought of today's maths?


ha. ha.


i felt it was so ABSTRACT.


what do i mean by abstract you mean? hmm, i cant explain it in words, maybe in a picture?


***






***


yepp, a picture of "abstract". lol


i cant describe the maths paper as random cos its too random to be random so i call it abstract. what u expect a lot will come out it doesnt, so little of integration and all. and the third question, i spent like 10mins thinking abt it trying to think which topic this is. -.- turns out to be SLE. lol but i didnt do it anyway.


tmr's LAST PAPER is chem, which i think i'll most likely gg, chem just sucks my world over, hahaha, but o wellz. hope my econs and maths pass, den i can at least afford an U. or not its byebye to my class next year T_T



and i dream about you all the time.

ahz


i realised, im more screwed than i actually think i am.


after econs paper today. fucking sudden realization: "this. is. promos."


LOL i know a bit de late la, but, Z, i was never stressed about exams.


chem's a gonna le bah, i wont say anything about maths cos, sudden loss of confidence.


gensen just told me oligopoly in today's econs is correct, but, but but but but. really? please tell me its oli please.


***


iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


dunno la, fuck promos. its just another exam, except that this one gives u a higher chance of getting retained than all the other ones u've taken. -.-

marc
10/12/91
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