Wednesday, November 04, 2009 2:28 PM
still the third day in hospital. 2.28pm. the pain has become part of me, its like a norm and im ignoring all the pain. im looking at the clouds again today. theres no dog, no evil monster. but i see a cow with wings. hurts.
hurts to see everyone well and alive while im lying here like a disabled man needing everyone to serve him. they say every experience is a lesson, but i feel this lesson is so far the most important in my life. out of the 5 patients including me in the room, 3 has been discharged today, and all at the same time too. leaving me and another old man who has suffered from cancer. well i dont usually talk to him, but he suddenly came up to me and told me of his experiences in cancer. it seriously sucks. lucky for me, i can speak hokkien, otherwise i cant even converse with him. just a few minutes of talking to him and i already feel i can emphatise with him. i know i can never feel how an old man like him feels about life, but i promise, i will treasure life.
i dont care about surgery or no surgery, i dont care about exam or no exam. i just want to get better , to feel better, to experience liberty again. because right now, it hurts.
